


You and I

by fadedlullabyes



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Hermann likes to insult newt, Hermann worries too goddamn much, Kaiju Drifting - Freeform, M/M, drifting bond, hurt comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2018-01-07 23:33:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1125686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadedlullabyes/pseuds/fadedlullabyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermann was never more of a mother hen than during the end of the war.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You and I

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first venture into Pacific Rim. T-T

There was nothing that existed outside his mind right now. His brain was moving as fast as it could to interpret what it had seen; the brilliant blues and the deep guttural noises that had bombarded his brain the moment he had drifted with the Kaiju.

 

Newt had thought for sure he was dead and in heaven. The glimpse he had gotten of the home world had been amazing and he'd be god damned if he didn't do it again. This was too fucking awesome to ever quit and Newt knew Hermann would have a thing or two say.

 

But this was the best high he had ever experienced in his life. It was an addiction forming deep in his mind and he needed more. The desire curled around him and grew as he processed what he had seen. The colors and sensations he experienced through the Kaiju were just phenomenal and Newt knew his skin was tingling. This was science at its finest.

 

What they were dealing with was nothing short of extraordinary and the experience only opened doors for his research. Hermann couldn't take that from him. This was the first time since he began to dissect Kaiju that Newt felt he had a breakthrough.

 

It was exhilarating and it surged through him strong and hard. He didn't care that he was bleeding or that his body was probably in shock. He was feeling again and that was all that mattered to him; purpose.

 

There was always something to learn and Newt would soak it up like a sponge. The insight he had now was priceless. He had actual proof that a human could drift with a Kaiju even though they were different species. This opened up so many doors even Newt had trouble keeping up.

 

Information was still buzzing loudly in his head; deafening everything from the outside world. It was hard trying to get his breathing under control, making it a slow process.

 

Newt was coming down from a high. It meant he had to share and that he couldn't be happy. No one quite understood why he was obsessed with Kaiju with the exception of Hermann. The man was also quite fascinated with them, but for different reasons.

 

Not that Hermann ever shared them with Newt. The one time he had asked the other about it, Hermann had shut his lips tight and refused to speak to Newt for close to a month. It was painful trying to fill the silence that had followed after.

 

It had been a horrible few weeks for Newt. He liked having Hermann in his lab; though technically it was their lab since they had to share. Normally Hermann would engage Newt in a civil conversation and they could behave themselves for a few hours because God knew no one else in the Shatterdome could understand them.

 

Most of the occupants were Jaeger personnel who worked on the giant mechs. God did Newt love that word. The Jaeger pilots were always quite a few in number but they didn't beat out personnel.

 

Hermann always made sure to be around the pilots, he had coded the first Jaeger program after all and wanted to see it through other’s eyes. It was amazing to see what he had created and how many people had depended on it. Hermann knew he had done something that was essential to the program and Newt liked Hermann.

 

Raliegh had a bad habit of stopping by and engaging Newt about his tattoos. Chuck had ridiculed Newt for them, but Raleigh seemed like an okay dude so Newt answered his questions while Hermann tolerated the pilot in their lab. He didn’t like other people being close to his Kaiju remains, but it meant social interaction and he was okay with that. Mostly.

 

Raleigh's visits were always short and Newt was grateful for that. Even though he was a chatterbox and could bullshit his way through any situation, he hated being accosted in his lab when there was fresh Kaiju body parts lying around to torture Hermann with.

 

"..wit." Speak of the devil and he shall appear, Newt thought. He wasn't sure if Hermann was really there or if he was imagining things. Hermann had gone off to speak to Stacker about something. Newt thought he would have at least an hour and a half.

 

"Herm?" Newt finally gasped. There was still a bit of sluggishness left in his mind as the rest of his high left. Right now all he wanted to do was chill out.

 

"Do not call me that, you insufferable idiot. What did you do?" Hermann asked. Newt was aware he already knew. The evidence was laying bare before him, but Hermann liked vocal confirmation as well and outside of the lab too.

 

"Drifted with a Kaiju brain..." Newt slurred with a lazy grin. "It was fucking great."

 

"Insufferable dimwit!" Hermann growled as he brushed untamable hair from Newt's face and took in just what drifting with a Kaiju had done to him. There was a red ring around Newt’s eye and he wished to God he could remove it. It didn’t look right with the green eyes Hermann loved.

 

"I'm your dimwit though." Newt countered as he tried to sit up. He had to tell Pentecost what had happened and he needed to get his hands on another Kaiju brain. Hermann was gentle, which was unusual for him when they were in the lab. Newt had to wonder just how worried the other was.

 

Newt knew he had been on the cusp of learning important, but it had been ripped away. The brain was useless now and he couldn't drift with it.

 

"What do you think you're doing?" Hermann growled as he forced Newt back to his sitting position. "You are not moving until I have someone from med bay look at you."

 

Newt couldn't resist rolling his eyes even though it hurt like a motherfucker. In fact, his whole body was screaming for him to stay still. He knew Hermann would try and keep him here, but that would take up too much time. He needed to speak to the marshal right away.

 

"Can't do that, Herms. I gotta go," Newt said with his brightest smile. He knew Hermann couldn't resist, but it turned out he was wrong.

 

"You are to stay put," Hermann grounded out in German.

 

Newt knew he was pushing Hermann, but he needed another Kaiju brain. He had to know what he hadn't been able to find out. He felt like he had failed everyone. It was likely he would die if he drifted again, but it was a welcomed risk. He had to do something other than sit here like a useless waste of space.

 

"Can't," Newt protested again. God be damned. His body ached like a son of a bitch and where the hell were his glasses?

 

"You had a seizure!" Hermann hissed as he placed Newt’s glasses back on his face while Hermann’s own face was breaking out in red splotches. Newt would have been concerned with just how angry Hermann was, but he didn't have time. It was an emotion he would file away for later because that was how he operated.

 

"And my body is telling me that, dude. But I have got to speak to Pentecost so stop being a damn mother hen and fucking let me tell him some important shit." Newt glared at Hermann through his glasses. He knew he was definitely going to pay for this later, but he didn't give two fucks. He had a chance to save the world and he damned well was gonna do that.

 

"Damnit, Newton, you can't even walk right now! How will you get to the marshal?" Hermann asked as if it was the most obvious problem Newt faced.

 

"You're gonna help me, duh!" Newt answered with a huge grin. It was strained at best because he was still having issues trying to be himself. The hive-like mind of the Kaiju was still affecting his brain and he had a hard time of it- now that he thought about it- keeping himself from reaching out and tearing Hermann to shreds. His initial excitement must have been off putting and pushed everything back so that he could deal with it later. The human mind was simply amazing.

 

“Newton, are you okay?” Hermann must have seen something because he was looking at Newt like he had grown a second head.

 

“Just a little backlash,” Newt answered slowly. It was definitely becoming a problem to speak now and he had to fight the images of tearing Hermann to pieces. This wasn’t what he had been expecting when he had drifted with the Kaiju; but then again, when did anything go his way?

 

“This could be problematic and is why I need you to go to med bay. If there are any effects, we need to know so they can be handled.” Hermann helped Newt as best he could to his feet. The world was a little off kilter and Newt had to shake his head slowly just so he could realign himself. It was like he was still connected with the Kaiju, but he knew that was impossible. Or at least, he hoped it was.

 

“Pentecost first, then med bay. Maybe.” Newt was shit at negotiation and Hermann knew it. He would take full advantage of this and there was nothing Newt could do.

 

“Pentecost first, then med bay. No maybe about it, Newt,” Hermann suggested as he tried to support Newt. It was hard with his bad leg, but this seemed to be important to Newt and he couldn’t deny the man anything at all. He was just that far gone on him.  

 

“Fine, fine, grumpypants,” Newt huffed. It was awful trying to walk and he was starting to wish he had never fucking drifted with that Kaiju. But he had information and information was powerful; especially if Hermann was right.

 

"Is that regret I hear?" Hermann teased as they left the lab. Newt did a double take and then shook his head. If Hermann was teasing then they would be okay.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“They’re poking me, Herms. Make ‘em stop,” Newt whined as he tried to move his arm out of the needle’s way. He didn’t like to be touched on the best of days and right now, with the excitement of finding Hannibal Chau running through him, he definitely didn’t have time for this. Pentecost had given him permission to drift with another Kaiju and how fucking awesome was that! Newt was practically on edge the moment he’d been told to seek out Chau.

 

“This is for your own good, Newt. If you want to go find Chau, then I suggest you stay put.” There was no sympathy in Hermann’s words as he looked down his nose at Newt. There was at least some form of patience in those dark eyes.

“But they’re suuuccckkkiinnnggg my blood up like vampires.” Newt tried to once again move from the bed, but Hermann’s cane stopped him. He glared, but it withered when Hermann gave him one soft hit to the thigh with his cane. The movement stopped Newt while the nurse turned her head. Everyone in the dome knew of the volatile relationship between Dr. Geiszler and Dr. Gottlieb. It was the talk of the dome for months when it was found out they were together.

 

“It’s for your health, Newton.” Hermann rolled his eyes as he set the cane down beside his chair, allowing it rest against the front. “We don’t know what drifting with a Kaiju will do to you and if we can prevent any medical problems, we’re going to. Just please sit down and let medical do their job.”

 

“But I can’t,” Newt answered, but allowed the nurse to take the vial of blood she had needed. Newt didn’t like the idea of hospitals, and med bay smelled worse than any he had visited in his youth. He wasn’t sure what it was about this med bay, but it always smelled like decay.

 

“I’m sorry, Newton. But this is for the best. You can’t just leap out of here without them looking at you. I want everything documented because I know you will want it later.” Hermann sighed and took Newt’s hand; his thumb rubbed over the back in what he hoped was a soothing manner. Hermann wasn’t that great at comfort in front of other people. It was sorta cute to Newt.

 

“Ugh, can you stop with that speech already, Herms? I mean, I know it’s great for my health, but I’m not gonna stop bitching about it. I don’t like med bay. It smells like Kaiju shit down here,” Newt complained as he buried his head into the pillow. He had things to do and a Kaiju brain to drift with if he could get his hands on one. He knew the second time would be worse since the effects of the first drift were wearing off. He no longer wanted to tear Hermann to bits in his mawl, or fling him carelessly to the ground to see him break. It was a relief on Newt’s part because that was damn scary.

 

“Your incessant bitching is grating on my nerves,” Hermann growled out in German. The nurse spared them a glance before taking off with the vial of blood. If Newt’s insult didn’t sit right with med bay, then he would pay it for later, Hermann was sure of that. The workers in med bay were legendary for their no tolerance for bullshit and their paybacks were worse than the Jaeger pilots’.

 

“Do I look like I give two fucks? I got important shit to do. I gotta get out there and find Chau so I can drift with another goddamn Kaiju.” This time Newt didn’t stay on the bed. He sat up and was able to stand on his own two feet.

 

The world wasn’t out of focus anymore and Newt didn’t feel as though everything were wrong. He could do this now and surely medical had all the blood they needed. Damn vampires. He had a job to do and he would damn well follow through with it because that’s what he did. Newt knew Hermann wouldn’t like this and that he would probably hate him forever, but he could contribute more if he could get more information about the Kaiju.

 

“Newt,” Hermann started as he stood; laying a hand on Newt’s shoulder. His grip was soft, no trace of the anger Newt knew was lying behind Hermann’s calm demeanor. “Be careful and come back to me.”

 

“Hey, I’m a rockstar, baby, of course I’ll be back,” Newt said with a goofy smile before leaning in and stealing a kiss from Hermann. He knew that no matter what, Hermann would have his back.

 

“I suppose that’s acceptable. At least you didn’t do the Schwarzenegger accent.” Hermann rolled his eyes, but brushed Newt’s cheek gently. “Do be careful. The drift works both ways.”   

 

"I could do it." Newt waggled his eyebrows, but the effect was lost.

 

"Go and get cleaned up, I don't want you looking like a heathen." There was a hand brushing a lock of wild brown hair out of Newt’s eyes before it settled on a shoulder. “We don’t know what will happen so watch your back and stay with the guards. I can’t afford to lose you.”

 

“Yes, Mom.” Newt whined before taking off. He’d already given Newt his goodbye kiss. If he gave him another, he would never leave. Hermann was probably counting on that and Newt just couldn’t do it. He had a mission and he was going to complete it.

 

~*~

 

It was done, they had closed the Breach and there would be no more Kaiju barrelling into their world intent on killing billions. It seemed too good to be true to Newt because stuff didn’t happen like this except for in the movies. But this was real life and Earth was given a second chance. No one would be dying except those who had laid down their lives.

 

It hurt to think Pentecost was gone. Chuck was an asshole, but Newt couldn’t help the little bit of admiration that seeped through. He still wasn’t Chuck’s biggest fan, but he felt for Herc because that had been his son. Newt could tell Herc was proud of his son and that something had finally clicked in that stubborn brain of his. But it was still sad to lose a family member like that and Newt had to wonder if the Hansens had practiced any sort of religion. Newt didn’t want to think of the implications of that and what it could do to Herc. And he had been sure Herc hadn't wanted to see him because if Newt had delivered the info earlier they wouldn't have lost Pentecost and Chuck.

 

But then again, Herc was a big boy and could take care of himself. Newt wouldn’t have to worry that much because everyone was celebrating and he was sure Herc would celebrate the fact that his son had died a hero's death. He had something to be proud of and Newt hoped it would bring him some sort of solace.

 

“Why don’t we go back to our barracks?” Hermann asked against Newt’s ear. They hadn’t separated from each other since the drift. Newt was too afraid to let go of Hermann because the drift had shaken him quite up quite a bit. It wasn’t only Hermann’s thoughts and emotions that bothered Newt; it had been the Kaiju’s as well.  

 

“And miss the party?” Newt tried to keep his devil may care attitude up, but it just wasn’t coming out. He wanted to party with the rest of the shatterdome, but the weariness of drifting set in and all he wanted to do was sleep. The second time hadn’t been as hard with Hermann, but the toll of his drift had never worn off and he was exhausted.

 

"There will be tons of parties, Newton," Hermann whispered. "You can attend those all you want. But right now you need rest."

 

Newt could feel Hermann in the back of his mind; worried and trying to not desperately cling to Newt. It made him want to balk because Newt didn't like to be coddled. It came with his childhood and how he had been raised, absent a mother. His father and Uncle Illia did the best they could but Newt lacked a mother and nothing would ever replace that.

 

“Alright, I give, I give.” Newt allowed a small smile to cross his lips as Hermann’s hand settled on his lower back. Normally, he would protest, but this was more for Hermann than Newt so he let it pass. It was amazing what Newt would do for his lover.

 

“That’s better.” Hermann murmured as they left the others to their party. The hallways were nearly empty, but there were a few stragglers who were desperate to get their celebratory sex on. Hermann eyed them while Newt made a few catcalls and giving them a thumbs up.

 

“Honestly, why do I even bother?”

 

“Because you love me,” Newt answered with a cheeky grin. He was still swaying a bit on his feet and he probably should have medical look at him, but he was too tired and just wanted to curl up and sleep. Drifting with a Kaiju twice was awful, even having Hermann with him had done little to lighten the load.

 

“Yes, I suppose there is that,” Hermann mused with a hint of a smile. He pulled Newt closer to him because he knew the other just wanted the physical comfort of a body pressed to him.

 

“You suppose?” Newt raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say much else because he could just feel the teasing intent emanating from Hermann. So far their ghost-drifting had been telepathy and empathy. Newt figured it was different for most people depending on the bond they had before they drifted together. It was a theory he wanted to discuss with Hermann. They never really spoke about after effects because they had drifted with Kaiju and they were a hive mind species.

 

“I might be more convinced  later when we’ve both rested.” Hermann teased, knowing he was giving Newt a taste of his own medicine. He could feel the pout through their link and laughed.

 

“You think that’s funny, just wait until I don’t put out.” Newt snapped back playfully. The way Hermann kept him distracted was a nice reprieve from his mind and before Newt knew it, they were inside their quarters.

 

“I highly doubt you will keep to your word,” Hermann commented offhandedly as he led Newt to their shower. It wasn’t much, but it was big enough to hold two people and had a bench for Hermann. He disliked it immensely, but it had proven to be useful over the years.

 

“You watch.” Newt turned around and pressed a kiss to Hermann’s lips. They were alone finally and he could do what he wanted. He needed to be pressed against Hermann just to feel that they were still alive and not connected to the Kaiju any longer. It was an experience he never wanted again because, even though he could appreciate Kaiju on a biological level, being that close and personal to them was damned scary.

 

“I’ll keep both eyes open,” Hermann whispered against Newt's ear. He stayed close while he started up the shower. Right now, neither one of them wanted to be separated from the other because the drift was too fresh in their minds. They now understood why Sasha and Aleksis had refused to be parted after they came back from a fight. This was the most intimate way of being with someone.

 

Newt and Hermann had been connected in a way they never thought they would experience and to both of them it was new territory. For the most part they both wanted to keep physical contact because of the Kaiju and what they had seen. They needed the reminder they were still human and that they weren’t going to destroy the world. It was a place neither wanted to visit again and so they needed each other to anchor themselves in reality.

 

“You do that.” There was a hint of a smile on Newt’s lips as they entered the shower. The warm spray had Newt relaxing as he sat on the bench. Normally, he would stand and wash himself while he sang obnoxiously, but it was obvious that his body was weary. He just didn’t have the energy.

 

“I’ve got you,” Hermann told Newt as he leaned against him in exhaustion. If he were honest with himself, he would have rathered just crashed on the bed, but they needed to be cleaned up, Newt especially.

 

Slowly, Hermann washed Newt, taking extra care with his movements. He was gentle as he washed the blood and dirt from Newt’s colorful body. The tattoos stood out even now in Hermann’s eyes because of what they had just witnessed, but he didn’t flinch. He knew the reasoning behind the Kaiju on Newt’s body and he wouldn’t change a thing as he finished up. They were connected and Hermann could feel just how close to sleep Newt was.  Newt was pale from drifting twice in one day with a Kaiju and Hermann wished there was color back in his face. It was wrong for the man to be so pale and quiet.

  
He helped him up and dried him off before drying his own body. Newt allowed himself to be led to the bed and laid down before happily plastering his body to Hermann’s. Damn he needed a physical anchor and he needed, just needed, it to be Hermann. He didn’t care that Hermann was checking him over as Newt tried to fall asleep. All he knew was that he was safe and, for now, he could rest with Hermann watching over him.

 


End file.
